Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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