if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
