Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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