You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
