i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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