blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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