I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
