All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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