I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
