My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
