i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
