I can tuck mytits in my pants
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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