I love black thongs
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
