2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
