She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
