At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
