I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So much rum. So many feels.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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