we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
