She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
