I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
either way he was missing a nipple.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
