then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
