just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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