If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
