i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
