And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
