You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
