i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize