i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
