i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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