If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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