But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize