Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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