But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
