dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
