Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i've created a new STD.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
