Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
