Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Damn victory sex feels great
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
