I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
