Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
