Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Randomize
