If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
