Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
