he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
