Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
