He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
