I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My room smells like vodka and shame
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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