just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
