i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
