Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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