I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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