Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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