So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This baby is an asshole
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
