I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
