i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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