So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
