Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
