I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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