Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
