no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
