Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...

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(720): View more from Colorado

Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.

(970): View more from Colorado

I'm that good.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.

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(616): View more from Michigan

HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.

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(469): View more from Texas

She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke

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(574): View more from Indiana

So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore

(209): View more from California

You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?

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(540): View more from Virginia

Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there

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(803): View more from South Carolina

His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.

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(765): View more from Indiana

If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.

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