Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
