Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
