Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
