even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
