My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
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