im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
