Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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