Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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