Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
