you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
