so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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