Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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