I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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