I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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