She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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