I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
