I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
