dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
only you would photoshop your dick
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
