life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
