Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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