So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
