that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
