is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
