I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
