Tell her she can't have a vagina
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
