I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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