I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
